And Now, Time Travel by Christopher Brimmage

Author:Christopher Brimmage [Brimmage, Christopher]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780578613987
Published: 2020-03-30T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

FOILED

“Halt! Who goes there?” demanded a behemoth of a man with thick blond hair, ruddy cheeks, and crooked, yellow teeth.

The man’s voice held such weight behind it that Normal-Art felt every bone in his body vibrate. He already needed to urinate, and the vibrations made the sensation grow exponentially worse. He nearly moaned, but a well-timed elbow in his stomach from Ginny knocked the wind from him and stifled any moaning. The Purple Shirts behind him grabbed him by the shoulders and prevented him from toppling over in pain.

The man stood at the end of the hallway, guarding the door that allowed access into the backstage area of the convention. Normal-Art cleverly deduced this fact because of the sign above the man’s right shoulder that read, Backstage Area: Production Crew and Pleasure Deities Only.

Alex nodded to Bagoo. Bagoo bent his head low, and as he raised his head back up, his ghostly, translucent shape shifted, taking on the form of a beautifully ethereal woman. He floated toward the massive guard.

“May we pass?” asked Bagoo in his best imitation of a female voice. “We are pleasure deities from a pleasure earth, and we have must thank Artheoskatergariabetrugereiinganno for the boon that his plan has bestowed upon our pantheon.”

The behemoth arched an eyebrow. “So, you’re here for the networking orgy, too, eh?” he asked.

Bagoo nodded.

The behemoth frowned and then continued, “Being the patron god of guarding things is the worst gig in all of godhood. I never get to participate in the fun stuff. Go on in. Follow the signs, you can’t miss it.”

Then he grabbed Bagoo by the upper arm. His frown deepened. He muttered, “Just, y’know, maybe send somebody out for ol’ Heimdallr at some point.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” replied Bagoo. He swept past the guard and waved for the Landing Crew to follow him. Alex nodded, and the Landing Crew marched forward, having hung back toward the end of the hall in case anything went wrong with Bagoo’s charade.

Normal-Art walked forward, being sure to stay between two of the Purple Shirts just in case anything bad occurred as the group passed the guard. But things went right for once, and the group sauntered past the god and into the backstage area without a problem.

They descended a flight of stairs and found themselves in a long corridor. Every few feet hung a piece of poster board with the message “Networking Orgy This Way” written in bold calligraphy. Below the words lay an equally bold arrow and pictures of humanoids engaging in acts of utter depravity.

“Sir,” called a Purple Shirt with a smirk as he stared at one of the signs. “If you need any of us to infiltrate the networking orgy, I’ll volunteer my services.”

Normal-Art began to chuckle, but he stopped short when he realized nobody else was amused. Alex scowled. He said, “Son, if I wanted you to try and amuse me, I would have informed you in your briefing. Keep your mouth shut unless you have something to say that’s pertinent to the mission.

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